porkchop
Full Member
(in Cyrillic) Kiss me, I'm Russian Pirate
Posts: 182
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Post by porkchop on Feb 12, 2010 21:30:52 GMT -6
one of my favorite videos of all time
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Mar 9, 2010 10:17:44 GMT -6
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Mar 9, 2010 11:03:55 GMT -6
And another...
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porkchop
Full Member
(in Cyrillic) Kiss me, I'm Russian Pirate
Posts: 182
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Post by porkchop on Mar 18, 2010 11:38:57 GMT -6
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.'
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York , so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.'
The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song.
Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.'
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments.
He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and asked, 'And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine, what is your final wish?
'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine...
'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'
'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'
'What?!' replied the Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor.....?!'
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Post by redshirt on Mar 18, 2010 15:41:55 GMT -6
Heh, nice. ;D
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Mar 19, 2010 1:51:01 GMT -6
Lmfao!
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rmsgamer
Full Member
"WHAT ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR?"
Posts: 201
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Post by rmsgamer on Mar 20, 2010 21:27:13 GMT -6
That was GREAT.
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Mar 28, 2010 0:16:36 GMT -6
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.
2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
h/t Mom.
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Post by Gir on Mar 29, 2010 19:37:48 GMT -6
I wonder how "control, alt, delete" would work on a car?
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Mar 30, 2010 1:45:32 GMT -6
I wonder how "control, alt, delete" would work on a car? About half the time, I'd guess. |
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Post by ig2000 on Apr 11, 2010 11:31:51 GMT -6
I r posting.. from phone.. from work.. Just cuz..  |
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Apr 11, 2010 12:01:02 GMT -6
I r posting.. from phone.. from work.. Just cuz.. Sounds like you need a more challenging job... Like I'm one to talk... |
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Post by ig2000 on May 14, 2010 21:32:20 GMT -6
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on May 16, 2010 13:07:33 GMT -6
You have reached...your destination.
LOL.
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Post by redshirt on May 19, 2010 17:07:47 GMT -6
OMFG!!!!! I love these...
Stairway is awesome!!!
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on May 20, 2010 9:28:45 GMT -6
Yes, more covers! I still like covers!
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Post by redshirt on May 21, 2010 19:04:52 GMT -6
Awesome.
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Post by ig2000 on May 21, 2010 20:11:11 GMT -6
New wallpaper for my laptop and the xbox360. ;D  |
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Post by redshirt on May 22, 2010 11:55:09 GMT -6
Heh.
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Post by ig2000 on May 22, 2010 18:37:09 GMT -6
Yo, lets get some nerdcore up in this bitch!
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on May 23, 2010 10:16:34 GMT -6
RE: Hail storm: You think that one guy's ever seen anything like that before?
RE: New wallpaper: We should have thermal detonators for this kinda deal.
RE: Nerdcore: This thread can't withstand nerdcore of that magnitude!
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on May 24, 2010 11:46:12 GMT -6
God, I hate that fucking dragon.
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Post by ig2000 on May 24, 2010 15:36:28 GMT -6
LOL
Posted some nerdcore to "that magnitude" and forgot the black guy.
Random AKA Mega Ran
(w/some dudes glitched speed run in the vid)
This one has MC Frontalot in it as well but at the end Mega Ran talks about his Nintendo Power article.
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on May 25, 2010 9:46:35 GMT -6
MegaDriver are a Brazilian video game metal band. Check the Sonic guitar! Power Glove, another video game metal band. (I don't understand why the Gwar thing is at the end, but it's pretty obvious; just ignore it... :  The Black Mages. The NESkimos. Awfully doomy for a band with such a dorky name. Ultranomicon with a pretty cool Metroid song. |
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Post by ig2000 on May 25, 2010 13:08:29 GMT -6
RE: NESkimos
▲
▲ ▲ = \m/ \m/
;D
;D ;D
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Post by redshirt on Jun 17, 2010 14:24:26 GMT -6
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Jul 11, 2010 14:12:21 GMT -6
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Post by redshirt on Jul 15, 2010 17:35:49 GMT -6
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Post by Ixos 2: the Sequel on Jul 16, 2010 7:59:14 GMT -6
Awe. Fricken. Some.
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Post by redshirt on Jul 31, 2010 9:24:21 GMT -6
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